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We hit it off, moving swiftly to text message, which is where he asked the question I always look forward to in a new dating situation: “What are you looking for?” I told him that I wasn’t one to rush into things (practice makes perfect, guys), but that I wanted to find someone to build a relationship with. But when you like someone, and your schedules align, and you’re in that beginning flush of a new relationship, and you’re stoked as fuck, then it’s easy to get carried away.And, most damningly, I surge through relationships.For most of my adult life, I’ve dated at a middle school clip.But I’m actually someone who prefers boundaries and labels — and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I cried in the cab on the way home, while the driver passed me tissues through the change slot in the plexiglass that separated us. But by mid-afternoon, I realized that I had learned an important lesson in the act of DTR.Dating relationship does not include a casual relationship or ordinary fraternization between two individuals in a business or social context.The following is an example of one state's defintion of a dating relationship: " As used in this section, “dating relationship” means frequent, intimate associations primarily characterized by the expectation of affectional involvement.He told me he was too, but that he’d just gotten out of a relationship, so he wanted to take things “slow.” I agreed, and we started to see each other. Jude and I were spending the night at one another’s places every time we hung out, we texted or G-chatted all day, I was cooking him dinner on certain days of the week when we worked late, and he’d met my friends over fried chicken while I met his over veggie phó. But on the other hand, I was getting to know things about him that I really didn’t like — he was a bit macho, he was stubborn, he seemed hung up on his ex, and he once looked at me square in the eyes and told me that he respected Steve Bannon for his intelligence.When we started sleeping together, I gave him my rule: If you fuck someone else, I need to know about it, because I don’t sleep with men who are sleeping with other people. (I know.) And it had me question whether or not it was a situation I wanted to be in.