Questions to ask yourself before dating
It’s all very well finding out his favourite colour, your shared interests, how great he is in bed, or how much ‘chemistry’ you think you both have, but do not make assumptions based off secondary values and assume that everything else will correlate.
Before you decide that you commit yourself, make sure you know the answer to these questions because if you commit before, you will love and trust blindly without basis.
No amount of questioning will get that hope confirmed – accept as is and decide if you can exist in the relationship with them.] [Find out about his friendships, colleagues, family, exes – don’t interrogate.
You should find out this information because you witness it or it comes up in conversation, however if it doesn’t – ask.] Do I enjoy my relationship with this person?
You ask: I need to know where I stand – Are you ready to be in a committed relationship with me? You say you’re busy with work, the house etc – what does that mean to our relationship?
He says: Well…know I’m busy with work…and you know I’ve got all of this stuff to sort out with the house…You know I like you a lot…I’ve just got a lot on…I’m just not sure where I am right now. Are you telling me that you are too busy with your stuff for the relationship?
It doesn’t have to be about you if you’ve just started dating.
Likewise talking in a general way about work, money, the economy, future plans, should give an idea of their money values, stability etc.
’ If you don’t know information that is important enough for you to be burning up brainpower over and you’re not able to figure it out through actions and knowledge you possess about red flags, values, and boundaries, ask. Are you saying that you can give me […] [….] and […] ? Are they still attached to their mother’s umbilical cord? The people that do, are the people that don’t want to give you a window into how they may treat you. Be wary of guys that call their exes psychos – more often than not, this is a total exaggeration and a major red flag. If it’s not solid, I would be extremely cautious because more women get caught out by separated men than don’t – walking baggage knee-jerking to new relationship. If a man is ducking out on his responsibility of taking care of his children and is pretty shameless about it too, it’s better to know now and use that information to beat a hasty retreat. If they say yes: Make sure you discuss what you see a committed relationship as to ensure that you’re both on the same page.[The answer to this lies in listening to yourself, the answers that they give, and the experiences that you have with them and factoring it all in to the big picture of your relationship.] Why do I want to be in this relationship?[Only you can answer this question ] If you are not able to answer these questions or the answers throw up red flags, you either need to ask more questions and get the clarification and answers you need, or it’s time to get out.Clarifying, filling in gaps of information, and getting answers comes down to reframing something that they tell you and inserting a question, asking what something means, and taking the piece of information you want to know, and asking them.That and using your powers of observation and awareness of red flags, boundaries, and values to judge the situation and their actions.
Search for questions to ask yourself before dating:
[Only you can answer this question] Is what I want from this relationship what this person is actually capable of giving, not based on who I think they are, or who I’d like them to be, but based on who they consistently are now?